The temporary job topic came up again today..
Before every break off from school, my family always ask me if I was planning to work (my temporary job) during the few weeks off. Then I would involuntarily happy to say yes. I would ended up working every break throughout the college years. It is a means of earning a little money to support myself. Sometimes I would use the money to buy new clothes, to get a little something on my wish list.
This topic goes beyond earning some money for subsistence. It always sparks of my memories and resentment toward my parents. I started working at the age of 15. I had a weekend part-time job that I basically supported myself throughout high school. However, I always carried the thought of hating my parents for not letting me having the freedom to do what I want on the weekend, to go out with friends, do more studying on SAT/ACT, and even to sleep in. “Why I was not like my friends, like other kids?” I was not happy with the way my family treated, forcing me to work every weekend and full time during the summer.
Throughout college years, I would still work during the long breaks. I was always looking forward to go home, to have homecook food, and to see my friends, but dreaded to work. However, that resentment was slowly faded, because being away from home helped me learn to love and appreciate my family even more. Since starting my undergrad at Cal, I met many inspiring people and amazing friends. The college experience has taught me many facets of life, that no one is perfect, there’s always a constant struggle within a person. The only way out is to be happy, to appreciate the things I have and let go of the things I can not control. So the experience helped me understand my parents and appreciate their hard work even more.
Like today when my mom I could have gone to work for 2-3 weeks before my internship in June. I could earn a little money…. (again, it is always the same lines about money, expenses, make good use of time, etc). I bought the same idea with a happier thought. Rather than having resentment, I thought of positive notes of working, having money to pay for all my expenses, and even better is I taught to manage my own money and learning to be independent at a young age.
But I also became critical of my mom’s words. Making money is not just for my own goods, but to alleviate some of my parents’ burdens. The saddest feeling is when I finally realized about my parents’ long working hours. I come to accept the fact that many people I met along the way also have families who work more than 10 hours a day. The issue is real. My mom only gets 1 day off a week, she leaves at 8am and doesn’t come home until 8pm., sometime even 9pm. That’s more than 12 hours a day. And so is my dad. He leaves at 4am. and gets home at 4pm. everyday. They struggle to make barely the minimum wage marks and afraid to lose their jobs. Their hard work motivates me to work even harder than them. So that one day, I can support not just for myself but my parents, and they would enjoy their day more, relax and take care of their health, their well-being.
I know I constantly go back and forth between my bitterness memories and determination thoughts. It does bring back the resentment when my mom mentions of working the temporary job. But now, I am learning to comfort myself, to overcome the sorrow. I am glad to have both parents who support me of all times. Their unconditional love and patience for a better live and a bright future.
Hope to make them proud.